Beauty Queen Butcher (1991)

Poor compulsive eater Phyllis Loden (played by Rhona Brody). She is the butt of every joke in her high school. Her only friend (and fellow nerd), Paul (Matthew Speak), encourages Phyllis to pursue her dream of winning the Miss Slough Queen Pageant. Unfortunately, the chips are stacked against her as the pageant organizer, Betty Prunish (Jim Boggess), is appalled that such an unlikely contestant would dare enter her beauty pageant. Prunish encourages the cruelties of the other, more desirable contestants to get her to drop out. However, the other girls push her too far and Phyllis goes on a rampage, killing anyone who stands in way of her donning the crown of Miss Slough Queen.

Oh man, with a mean streak that is about a mile wide, Beauty Queen Butcher is a rough one. Guilt, bemusement, embarrassment, laughter, and boredom; all of these can be yours, dear viewer. This film’s biggest flaw is its nearly 2 hour running time. Economy of storytelling is not one of director/co-writer Jill Zurborg’s strongest points. While it moves along at a fairly decent pace, it takes over an hour before any (nearly gore-free) butchering takes place.

One of my favorite gags that was old even back in 1991, the unacknowledged transvestite, is alive and well here in Beauty Queen Butcher. Betty Prunish played quite ingratiatingly by Jim Boggess is quite an awful sight to behold even for the legally blind. Phyllis and Paul are well played by Rhona Brody and Matthew Speak. There is an odd concoction of self-pity, psychotic grandeur, and romantic tension happening here. Hey Paul, could you stop being such an enabler? Phyllis doesn’t need pizza or Twinkies, she needs love!

The rest of the cast is game for this strange flick. One of the things that adds to the running time are all the evil high school girls who stand in Phyllis’s way. We get to watch as she eliminates them all, one by one. All of these folks are funny but man, we need to get moving here. Actually, the only character I could have totally done without is the milk-guzzling private eye, Dick Richards.

Beauty Queen Butcher is a tongue-in-cheek and politically incorrect horror comedy if there ever was one. It is some sweet early 90s goodness that will most likely develop a bigger fan base now that it has made it to DVD. The film delivers that sickening sheen that only a shot-on-video flick can with a low budget charm that never backs down. While I’ll never be able to let the 2 hour running time bit go, I have to admit that I’ve been won over by the sad tale of Phyliss Loden. Now pass the Twinkies.

“Smooth movie, fatty!”

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