Baptism of Blood

Baptism of Blood (1996)

Beautiful film actress Matsuko Uehara (Risa Akikawa) goes into hiding after she develops a disfiguring skin disease. She and Dr. Edmond Meredith (Tatsuya Go) plan to use his brain transplant machine to give her a younger body. Fifteen years later, they finally have the perfect specimen: Matsuko’s teenage daughter Sakura (played by Rie Imamura). As if Sakura didn’t have enough problems what with her lecherous piano teacher, Masahiko (Chihiro Tago), she now has to deal with her mom’s body-snatching? Geez!

Kenichi Yoshihara directs Baptism of Blood, a film that is proof that sometimes things are obscure for a reason and your directorial debut can also be your swan song. Okay, maybe I’m being a little hasty here. Yoshihara hasn’t made a film in 21 years but after this one, I have to say he’s probably done. Anyway… What Baptism of Blood lacks in plot, acting, and pacing, it (nearly) makes up for in all out kookiness. The film sports a low budget (except where gore effects are involved) and ultra-minimal sets that actually work in its favor.

There are these weird moments when the planets align and this film actually kicks out the jams for a moment or two. The scene where Sakura (with Matsuko’s brain in her body) threatens Kazuyo’s baby carriage (with her baby inside it!) with a minivan is amazing. There’s also a beautiful bitch-slap session when Matsuko pummels one of Sakura’s friends for accidentally scratching her perfect face. Reverse Oscar for everyone involved! Do they make Academy Award statues sitting on a little gold toilet? Boy, I’d love to hand those bastards out!

If you have an unequivocal love of Japanese horror films then Baptism of Blood will either stretch it to the breaking point or kill it completely. You will be as astounded by the absence of an even remotely mediocre ending as you will by the audaciousness of the phallicized brain switching machine. So that’s where the money went! Straight to the big black penis apparatus! Thank you, thesaurus.

Oh, if only the plot have held out we might have a minor bad classic on our hands. The film is quite kinky and sometimes just plain wrong. The whole thing with 15 year old Sakura (with Matsuko’s brain in her body!) sleeping with her piano teacher… No comment. The clunkiness of the script, the not-so-subtle perverse themes, the unintentional hilarity, and some nasty gore scenes make this an interesting viewing experience to say the least. I’m going to go out on a limb here and actually say that I actually really like this one but please, please understand how terrible this is before you muster up the courage to face the misleadingly titled Baptism of Blood.

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