Alien Predator (1985)
When Skylab crashes to Earth containing an alien parasite that causes people to go mad shortly before their heads explode, NASA steps in to clean up the mess. Unfortunately, the monstrous parasite proves to be too much for the scientists and their temporary base in Duerte, Spain is abandoned and the entire town is infected. Three American college students: Damon (Dennis Christopher), Michael (Martin Hewitt), and Sam (Lynn-Holly Johnson) just happen to be driving their RV through Duerte when they discover that the town is full of raving lunatics. They meet Dr. Tracer (Luis Prendes), a specialist from NASA, who believes he can develop an antidote to the parasite. Now the four of them must fight off the insane inhabitants of the town while working on the antidote before the rest of the world becomes infected.
Seeketh splatter and ye shall find it. But at what cost? I finally tracked down Alien Predator (thanks to the help of Uncle Sam at B-Headed). You see, I had nothing more than a couple of half-remembered scenes to go on. My mind was snagged on some images of mutilated corpses and dreary Spanish scenery from a movie I hadn’t seen in 20 years. So here I am, reunited (and it feels so good?) with Alien Predator at last. Why don’t we scavenge this corpse together? Chicken violence!
Deran Sarafian directs Alien Predator (about a million miles away from Alien Vs. Predator), a horror/sci-fi film that is dark, surreal, splattery, and pretty dumb, all at the same time. The story, based on a screenplay called “RV Park Massacre” or some BS, is pretty clunky, somewhat padded, and wildly unoriginal. Hey, how about another car chase!?! There are some disturbing and quite nasty gore setpieces scattered throughout the film but they just aren’t enough to catapult Alien Predator into the halls of classic splatter flicks. The soundtrack is ominous and perfectly suited for a horror movie until it suddenly dips into some 80s ass pop. Decent lighting and workmanlike cinematography come together quite well to provide a handful of eerie moments. The Spanish locations are especially drab adding to the sickening and hopeless atmosphere of the film.
Dennis Christopher (Fade To Black, Doppelganger) delivers as Damon, a goofy but rarely irritating “ladies man” (read as: subdued and charming crackhead). Veteran Spanish actor Luis Prendes does a fine job as Dr. Tracer but I’m sure glad he ditched his sidekick early on. I’m talking about J.O. Bosso. I don’t know who he is but I know that I couldn’t have been any happier when his character, Captain Wells, blows his brains out. Bond-girl Lynn-Holly Johnson (The Watcher In The Woods) is great with her spunky portrayal of (bad hair) Sam.
Now this is where the casting of this film is even more damaging than the script: Martin Hewitt as Michael. Holy shit, this guy is a terrible performer and astoundingly bland. His only believable scene is at the beginning when he is asleep at the wheel of the RV. Once the romance between Michael and Sam starts heating up, it’s all over. The fact that this is supposed to be our hero couldn’t be more pitiful. Dennis Christopher is clearly the romantic lead, dang it! I probably shouldn’t elaborate on my feelings.
Even though this movie was scratching at the back of my mind for 20 years and even though I really enjoyed it, I’m still having a tough time working up a good recommendation. As creepy and gory (exploding faces!) as Alien Predator is, it is also painfully stupid. The film gets bogged down in lame car chases and a romantic sub-diversion that will have you screaming for (“Hollywood’s #1 Driver!”) Michael’s head on a platter. In the film’s favor, there is an undeniable aura of weirdness throughout (dig those locals) and I’m astounded that the filmmakers got so much right. Alien Predator delivers quite a few genuinely haunting moments and downright freaky gore effects but folks looking for a lost 80s classic will be disappointed. I just can’t believe that I snuck this one past my parents all those years ago. Suckers!