2000s horror

Rojo Sangre

Rojo Sangre (2004)

Pablo Thenevet (Paul Naschy) is an aging actor down on his luck. After playing many classic characters on stage and on screen, he is now relegated to pitiful walk-on roles and sucking up to his scumbag agent. After making a deal with Reficul (Miguel Del Arco), owner of a decadent nightclub to make appearances dressed as the great murderers in history such as Jack the Ripper and Ivan the Terrible. Now back on his feet, Pablo turns to executing those that have offended him. Unfortunately, Pablo did not read the fine print of his contract and now he must pay for his recent successes with his soul.

Spanish horror icon Paul Naschy is excellent in this well-made though rather odd film. The editing is top notch, even inspiring and the camerawork is flawless. CGI effects are mostly well done with a few awkward moments but nothing too awful or embarrassing. While quickly paced, the ironic and comically cruel story has a strange (and only occasionally hokey) flow to it and the ending is very bizarre as well.

Naschy fans will be very pleased to see the great Jacinto Molina still in fine form this late in his career. The script (written by Naschy himself) gives the actor a chance to vent some rage at the state of the film industry. The opening conversation where Pablo explains to a fellow actor why he enjoys putting mice in a very special place is a riot. There is plenty of blood, gore, sex, and sadism to be found in this surprising little number from Spain.

House of Voices

House of Voices (2004)

A young woman named Anna (Virginie Ledoyen) begins her work as a cleaning lady at Saint Ange orphanage. She meets the strict headmistress Miss Frachard (Catriona MacColl) who informs her that the place is being shut down due to the death of one of the children. Anna is to clean the place before the new owners arrive. As strange, inexplicable things begin to happen, Anna begins to realize that something is very wrong at Saint Ange.

Surprisingly, this ethereal horror film comes from Pascal Laugier, the writer and director of the violent and harrowing Martyrs (2008). Effectively chilling and beautiful, Saint Ange requires some patience due to a thin storyline and trite dialogue. Characters are thinly written but the odd acting style makes up for it. It’s nice to see veteran Euro-horror queen Catriona MacColl giving a good (though slightly stiff) performance. The ending of this film is some cold, overly brightly lit craziness!

The trailer for House of Voices (AKA Saint Ange) caught my eye but it wasn’t until after reading the bad reviews and the scathing user comments on IMDB that I was convinced that I had to seek this one out. This film’s emphasis on a somber mood and lush gothic imagery at the expense of a cohesive plot doom it to this kind of reaction and will severely limit its appeal. However, fans of atmospheric French horror in the vein of Jean Rollin (like yours truly) will be richly rewarded by giving this little gem a chance.

Kibakichi 2

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Kibakichi 2 (2004)

Sakuramaru (Masakatsu Funaki), a renegade samurai, is cutting his way through the countryside and anyone who stands in his way. He is more than happy to cross paths with Kibakichi (Ryuuji Harada) because he has finally found a worthy opponent. Anju (Miki Tanka), another werewolf samurai, interrupts their battle by trying to kill Kibakichi herself in order to get revenge for her monster family. Kibakichi is injured and is cared for by a young blind woman named Tokoko (Aimi Nakajima) in a nearby village. A new threat emerges when three monsters decide to take over and all concerned parties are dragged into yet another Yokai war.

Kibakichi 2 opens promisingly enough with Sakuramaru cutting down an entire city with his sword but before long, the film slows to a crawl. There is plenty of swordplay and some monster action (needs more please) but the spark is definitely gone this time around. A melodramatic departure is always welcome (that’s just me) but not one as flat as the one here. The pacing of this film is terrible making the 80 minute running time feel like several hours. There are too many cheap shortcuts in the effects department that really stand out. There are fewer monsters in Kibakichi 2 than in the first film so the rubbery masks stick out even worse. Samurais attack with mouths full of fake blood, are cut down, and then spray their bloody spittle into the air.

The returning cast (Ryuuji Harada and Miki Tanaka) seems bored with the material but some of the new faces are up for the task. Masakatsu Funaki (Godzilla: Final Wars) is great as the Sakuramaru, the bloodthirsty berserker swordsman. Aimi Nakajima is also good as the sweet (and very cute) Tokoko who gets caught up in all the intrigue. As for Ryuuji Harada (Izo, Pyrokinesis), he takes the already stoic character of Kibakichi and makes him into a sleepwalker through much of the film. Miki Tanaka plays Anju as though she was constipated and just can’t seem to get into the battle scenes.

Kibakichi 2 is a big disappointment after the unbridled insanity of the first film. Not to say that Kibakichi 2 is your average flick. Oh no. Anyone who watches the samurai werewolf ballet sequence at the film’s climax won’t believe for a second that there is anyone even remotely normal behind the camera. Speaking of the samurai werewolf ballet, this is one of the weirdest and most endearingly pathetic filmic disasters I’ve ever seen. While witnessing this spectacle I felt was teetering on edge of madness. In fact, this scene is probably the only reason to sit through this movie. I just don’t know anymore.

I hate to compare a sequel to its predecessor this blatantly but while looking for, at best, a good companion piece or, at worst, an entertaining diversion, I found neither. Kibakichi 2 is brought down by its molasses pacing, sleepy cast, and restraint of the craziness that made the first film so much fun. Who knows what happened between the two films but my only hope now is that there won’t be a third.

Kibakichi

kibakichi

Kibakichi (2004)

Ryuji Harada plays Kibakichi, a swordsman and werewolf who is constantly under attack by bounty hunters while traveling through the countryside to escape his past. Kibakichi discovers a village of Yokai, monsters like himself that have assumed the personas of human beings in order to survive. The Yokai are working on a deal with the yakuza to give them a place to lead their lives as they want to. Kibakichi warns the Yokai not to trust humans and just as he is about to leave, the yakuza, led by Yomaji (Mubu Nakayama), betray the Yokai and launch a violent assault on their village. Caught in the crossfire, Kubakichi uses his superior sword-fighting skills and his powers as a Yokai to defend his kind.

Director Tomoo Haraguchi brings this wild and explosive horror fantasy film to life. Kibakichi superbly combines traditional Japanese monsters with action movie bravado resulting in a jaw dropping experience. The choreography in the sword fighting scenes and the stunt work in the film’s finale are excellent.

The special effects are simplistic but ambitious. The Yokai, taken straight from Japanese lore, look great and there is plenty of blood and gore (both red and blue) spilled throughout. Various filters are used to dowse the film in gorgeous earth tones, giving Kibakichi its own unique and proto-classic look.

The streamlined plot revels in its traditional “lone swordsman” storyline but removes all traces of subtlety to keep in step with the director’s crowd-pleasing style. The action just keeps on coming rarely slowing to allow any audience to lose interest. Even the film’s message is trite: human beings ruin everything.

The actors in Kibakichi perform with a very representational acting style making the film feel like a bizarre theatrical production. This style complements the film’s script, which is laden with melodrama and moments meant to tug on the viewer’s heartstrings. Ryuji Harada is perfect as the stone-faced and deadly Kibakichi.

Kibakichi is one hell of an ambitious and truly weird film. It breaks all the rules of its multiple genres (just check out the yakuza’s arsenal) and yet still captures the conventions that make samurai films so memorable. Most viewers will find it difficult not to be blown away by the sheer bombastic audacity of the film’s climax. Followed by a crappy sequel.

The Last Supper

lastsupper

The Last Supper (2005)

Dr. Yuji Kotorida (Masaya Kato) is a ‘Godsend’ of plastic surgery. He is well-respected by both the medical community and the media but what no one knows is that he is a vicious and cannibalistic serial killer. In an anonymous blog, Dr. Kotorida describes the act of eating human flesh as the equivalent of making love. When his horrible secret is discovered by an insane detective (Hiroki Matsukata), Kotorida devises a plan to make himself famous as well as to escape from the police.

Finally, cannibalism is sexy again! Directed by Osamu Fukutani (The Suicide Manual), The Last Supper sports a menacing soundtrack and a somber (and sometimes chilling) mood. This shot-on-video cannibal horror flick may look cheap but it got my stomach churning (not an easy thing to do). The plot doesn’t get too bogged down in ‘realism’ like some of the CAT III Hong Kong gross-out flicks (Human Pork Chop, in particular).

The cast of The Last Supper may be somewhat stiff but all in all manage to turn in some decent performances. Horror actress Hitomi Miwa (Ju-On, Embalming) is excellent and I really liked newcomer Hibiki Takumi. Chinese actress Zuki Lee is quite good as Dr. Kotorida’s Hong Kong fling (and meal). Of course, it’s Masaya Kato’s show and he definitely goes the distance in one hell of a sick role. The award for the strangest performance in the film goes to Hiroki Matsukata (The Yakuza Papers). His detective character is one sick (very, very sick) bastard.

The only thing that keeps this movie from being a splatter cannibal classic is its low production values. Cheap sets and digital photography are perfectly acceptable for this trash film lover but when you skimp on the gore effects, now that’s an entirely different story. The severed heads suffer the most and are clearly mannequin heads with wigs tacked on. Also, the film’s fleshy finale isn’t exactly impressive but hey, the effort is there.

So my theories about cannibal nightclubs in Hong Kong have proven to be true. The idea that devouring a person’s flesh is a sexual act really sleazes up this one. Some of the flesh-eating is pretty dang gross (wait, when isn’t it?) and there’s a whole lot of blood and bargain-priced gore. The Last Supper is somewhat disappointing but a few nauseous and shocking surprises make it a worthy entry in the cannibal movie canon.

Red Riding Hood

redridinghood

Red Riding Hood (2003)

After the death of her politician father and subsequent abandonment by her mother, 12 year old Jenny (Susanna Satta) feels that it is imperative that the guilty are punished because God forgets their sins (no matter how miniscule) too easily. With the help of her mysterious friend, George, Jenny begins terrorizing Rome by punishing sinners with deadly justice. All is going well for Jenny until her grandmother, Rose (Kathleen Archebald), comes to take Jenny back to New York with her. Jenny imprisons Rose in her apartment so that she won’t interfere with her plans to confess her love for her tutor, Tom (Roberto Purvis). When Tom starts to suspect that something is terribly wrong with Jenny, he tries to stop her and George’s killing spree before he himself becomes a victim.

For a first time director, I have to compliment Giacomo Cimini. Although flawed, Red Riding Hood is a fine first feature and shows great promise. Some of the credit goes to one of the films co-cinematographers, Sergio Salvati (Fulci’s The Beyond and The Black Cat), who manages to add some of the old school Italian horror flair to the filming. The script and the plot are well done and become especially tense in the final act.

The role of Jenny is a difficult one and is handled fairly well by the young Susanna Satta. Unfortunately, many of her lines are delivered too mechanically. But to Satta’s credit, she portrays an evil little girl perfectly and has great control over her expressions and the physical aspects of her screen presence. This was a tough first film role for her and I’m interested to see what she’ll do next.

Kathleen Archebald is very good as Rose who suffers a great deal of torment from her twisted granddaughter. The actor I’m least impressed with is Roberto Purvis. The character of Tom isn’t developed well in the script and isn’t given much depth by Purvis until his last few moments of screen time.

The music of the film is creative but distracting. It is some merry sounding business with lyrics that seem to refer to the plot but overall just doesn’t work in the film. The incidental music is fine but this jaunty theme keeps coming back. Some upbeat music would have been perfect for many of the strange scenes in the movie but the filmmakers have made a poor choice here.

Jenny’s companion through much of the film is George, a mysterious figure in a black jumpsuit, red galoshes, black cloak, and a white wolfish mask. George looks pretty silly and just isn’t creepy at all. My last complaint is about the film’s pacing. It slows down a little in the middle but not for too long. Just long enough for a viewer to wonder when the film is coming to an end.

Okay, enough griping, why is this film worth seeing? For one thing, the murders are very cool and bloody. The effects aren’t over the top or disgusting but a couple of them are inventive and memorable. The movie has some very twisted humor in it that will appeal to horror fans. And finally, this film is just plain nuts. I don’t think I’ve seen a movie this odd in a while.

Red Riding Hood is a likeable flick with some very strange elements thrown in to keep it from being just another slasher. The setting of Rome and the Italian crew give this film just a hint of Giallo, which is always pleasant. Despite a couple of flaws (some wooden delivery from a couple of the actors and George’s costume), I had a great time watching this. Prepare to be weirded out and enjoy the show.

Skeleton Man

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Skeleton Man (2004)

A hooded skeletal creature is killing people in the woods near a research base. A team of soldiers, lead by Captain Leary (Michael Rooker), is sent in to find and destroy this creature. Unfortunately, this creature is the possessed spirit of a mad Native American warrior and is virtually unstoppable. It is up to the surviving members of Leary’s team to find a way to destroy the creature.

This disaster of a movie was directed by longtime stuntman and first time director, Johnny Martin. The dialogue is laughable, the plot is inane, and the performances from the actors lack any personality or gumption. The film contains some brief gory moments but nothing outstanding. There is a nasty exploding head, impalements, and even a grotesque (yet half-assed) pit of bodies. Even the gratuitous machinegun fire and explosions can’t make Skeleton Man even remotely exciting.

There are an uncountable number of opportunities for viewers to go “huh?” and “what?” during the film. At around 45 minutes, the film’s already shaky narrative completely breaks down when Casper Van Dien’s (Starship Troopers, Sleepy Hollow) stunt double goes for a little joyride in a tractor trailer which results in a nice explosion. I can’t imagine Van Dien being too busy to be filmed driving a truck. But sure enough, shots of a faceless stunt actor and shots of Van Dien making faces from different parts of the film are intercut into this unholy abomination of a scene.

Now onto the creature that terrorizes the protagonists (and viewers) of Skeleton Man. First of all, there’s nothing scary about a monster in a shiny black polyester bonnet and cape ensemble. Also, despite the silliness of the creature’s mask, there are shots in the film where the actor’s nose can be seen where the skeleton’s nasal cavity should be. And finally, the whole Predator thing really hurts the film. For instance, the skeletal creature can cloak (or perhaps it’s teleporting?) and the POV shots through the creature’s eyes are very familiar (complete with what appears to be thermal vision).

Skeleton Man will horrify but not in the way that it was intended to. This movie may turn up on someone’s guilty pleasure list due to the fact that it is so mistake laden and logic free. And of course, it features an unmitigated Michael Rooker (Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer, Shadow Builder) running rampant throughout the film as the rugged (and more than just a little nutty) Captain Leary. So, if you think you’re man enough to take on a bewildering plot and embarrassingly trite dialogue (as well as ludicrous action sequences and vapid special effects), then try Skeleton Man on for size.

The Stewardess

stewardess

The Stewardess (2002)

Ken Ma (Sam Lee) gets lucky one night (or so he thinks) when he meets the beautiful airline stewardess, Apple (San San Lee). After what Ken thinks is a one night stand, Apple takes charge and brings him to meet her father who just happens to be the notorious Dragon, leader of the Triad gang. Dragon threatens Ken with castration if he doesn’t stay faithful to Apple. Despite constant surveillance under not only his new girlfriend but from the Triads as well, Ken actually manages to cheat on Apple with another airline stewardess, this time a Japanese one named Yurei (played by Seina Kasugai). Of course, Apple finds out about Ken’s indiscretion and tells her father. Thinking his situation can’t get any worse Ken quickly realizes that the Triads and the spiteful Apple are the least of his worries. Now, Armed with a butcher knife, a meat cleaver, and a sharpened toy airplane, the seemingly unstoppable and very psychotic Yurei is hot on his heels.

This hilarious horror comedy from director Tak-Sam Leong happens to be one of my favorites. The plot is constructed just enough to keep the laughs coming and would have been disastrous had it been meant to be a serious horror film. Every time something remotely creepy or serious happens it only takes a moment before the wackiness returns ten fold. Director Leong Tak Sam uses time-lapse photography, slow motion, split-screen, freeze-frame, and digital effects to convey its story, which is completely ridiculous and satirical from the first frame to its tongue in cheek ending.

The cast is completely at home in this comedy. Miss Hong Kong 1996, San San Lee (My Left Eye Sees Ghosts) plays the bitchy Apple almost too well as she treats Ken like a slave from the first moment of their relationship. Yiu-Cheng Lai (Human Pork Chop) is hilarious as Ken Ma’s sleazy friend, George, and whose best scene is when he goes home with the most unattractive girl at the bar. Even Suet Lam (Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters, The God of Cookery) makes the most of his small part as Uncle Fatty, the Triads best but laziest torturer and coercer, with some great moments of improvisational comedy.

Seina Kasugai’s Yurei is a very interesting character. Obviously new to film acting, the gorgeous Kasugai does her best to portray a complete lunatic with only brief moments of seriousness. It would be an understatement to say that she overdoes her role because I suspect that was what was asked of her. Yurei cackles, giggles, screams, and gibbers through her scenes more and more maniacally as the film reaches its conclusion. This may get on some viewers’ nerves but in a film that’s already nuts, she isn’t out of place at all in my book. Kasugai even manages to tone things down during the few effectively creepy moments the film has to offer.

The real star of the film is the super talented Sam Lee (who played Crazy Bee in Bio Zombie). This odd looking fellow is a great comic actor that makes every scene he’s in completely memorable. Ken is such a jackass that you can’t help but root for him. The montage after he finally manages to cheat on Apple is incredible. The whole film turns into a bad beer commercial and Lee doesn’t miss a beat. He keeps getting himself into more and more trouble and you’ll ask yourself “How many times can this guy get the crap beat out of him in one movie?”

The Stewardess is an awesome comedy and a pretty crappy horror movie but I think that’s the point. There is no nudity and very little gore but this very entertaining flick isn’t hurt by any of that one bit. Sam Lee’s performance alone is worth the watch. The DVDs of this film have been difficult to obtain since there were some legal issues concerning its release but I can’t stress enough that the folks that go the extra distance to find this flick will be in for a treat. Oh yeah, and you’ll get enough gangster nipple twisting to last you a lifetime.

The Shock Labyrinth 3D

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The Shock Labyrinth 3D (2009)

Ken (Yuya Yagira) returns to his hometown to catch up with some old friends, Motoki and Rin. During a thunderstorm, Yuki Tomoya (Misako Renbutsu), a girl that he and his friends thought was dead, comes back after being missing for nearly a decade. Years ago, as children, Ken and his friends went into an old haunted house by themselves and got scared out of their wits. They all escaped except for Yuki.

In the present, they try to reunite Yuki with her family but her mother is insane and her sister Miyu just can’t believe this girl is actually her sister. Yuki ends up falling down a flight of stairs but when they get her to the hospital, they find it deserted. Before long, Ken and the gang realize that they are trapped in a place that is both the haunted by the past and as dangerous as the present. I’m not sure what that sentence means.

I get why people don’t like this movie as it is rife with horror cliches but honestly, The Shock Corridor is so weird (and occasionally unsettling) that I can’t help but dig on it. The digital photography is slick, perhaps a little too slick but very colorful. The special effects are kind of corny but strange enough that they get a pass from me. The ambitious plot is successful at jumping back and forth through time without getting confusing. I went into this film with low expectations but I was charmed by what director Takashi Shimizu has been up to lately.

“Haven’t you figured it out? This is the house of horrors where it happened!”

Monsters, Marriage, and Murder in Manchvegas

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Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas (2009)

All is not well in the seemingly idyllic town of Manchvegas. A knife-wielding murderer has been stalking its lovely ladies and there are monsters -gospercaps, actually- all over the woods. But fear not for M.O.S. is on the case. That’s the Manchvegas Outlaw Society, in case you didn’t know, and their leader is Marshall (Matt Farley), a plucky young man with the gumption to get the town back on its feet again. With him as always is Jenny (Marie Dellicker) and All-Star Pete (Tom Scalzo). But solving crimes and fighting monsters is not all that M.O.S. has on its plate. When Jenny’s burgeoning feelings for Marshall go unrequited, she starts going on dates with some of the eligible men of Manchvegas. Marshall and All-Star Pete go about sabotaging her good times with some wild pranks.

The creators of Freaky Farley, my favorite indie horror film of 2007 (possibly my favorite of the millennium), are back with Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas. Once again, director/co-writer Charles Roxburgh, co-writer/actor Matt Farley, and their dedicated crew drop the viewer headfirst into a delightfully strange and freakishly innocent world. The obvious care put into every line of dialogue in this movie really shows as this film behaves the way it wants to behave, not in the way you think it should. The intersecting love stories are convoluted yet undeniably sweet and essential to moving the plot along.

A key factor to this film’s success is due to the fact that Roxburgh filmed this movie with actual film! MMMManchvegas is lovingly shot on 16mm with excellent attention to color and detail. Of course, the writing is immensely important to what makes these guys’ movies so special. Even the songs by Moes Haven scattered throughout the film are custom made to keep the audience hip to what’s going on. My favorite of these catchy tunes is “Basketball Fun”.

The cast is ready, willing and able to bring this weird film to life. Matt Farley is great as the single-minded Marshall. He won’t let anything stand in the way of M.O.S., even if it means denying his feelings for Jenny. And speaking of Jenny, Marie Dellicker practically steals the show with her fine portrayal of a girl who wants to grow up just a little bit but knows that it might mean losing her best friends. Some familiar faces from Freaky Farley pop up when another love story blooms in Manchvegas. The irrepressibly plucky Sharon Scalzo plays Melinda, a young woman in love with the easy going and somewhat clueless Vince (played by Kyle Kochan), even though her overbearing father (Kevin McGee) doesn’t approve.

Though it has monsters and a couple of dead bodies, Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas is not a horror film. And don’t expect an ounce of gore from this one as the film is practically bloodless and hell, there isn’t a scare to be found. This whole offbeat cinema production revels in its gloriously cheesy vibe and driest of dry senses of humor while remaining very, very watchable throughout. I can’t stress enough how badly I want to live in their alternate universe. Finally, I know where “everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”

“Gosh dang, it’s monster central, man!”

Visit the Shockmarathons site for more.