Reviews

Invitation to Hell

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Invitation to Hell (1984)

The Winslow family has relocated so that Matt, the dad (Robert Urich), can start his new job at an electronics corporation called Micro-Digitech. His special talent with electronics will be applied to a new spacesuit the company is developing. This heat resistant spacesuit is equipped with a deadly laser, a flamethrower, and sensors that can detect whether or not a being is human or not. Hmm, I wonder if that will come in handy later?

The Winslows have a beautiful home in an idyllic neighborhood but things aren’t all that they seem. Jessica Jones (Susan Lucci), director of the Steaming Springs country club keeps encouraging Matt and his family to join. But this is no ordinary country club. The membership fee is very reasonable; it will only cost you your soul! Matt is able to resist the temptations of Steamy Springs but his dumb family are a bunch of selfish twits who don’t know any better. Now he has to put on a friggin’ spacesuit and go save them.

Released only months before A Nightmare on Elm Street destroyed the world, Invitation to Hell is one of Wes Craven’s best failures. Like his pitiful Deadly Friend, this cheesy and incredibly dated made-for-TV movie bears absolutely no resemblance to other Craven classics like Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes. I’m just now discovering a bunch of these little televised gems from Craven’s body of work for myself and so far I’m not regretting it at all.

Screenwriter Richard Rothstein (who went on to write Universal Soldier) did most of the damage so I guess it really doesn’t matter who directed this thing. The plot is laughably generic and the camp value hits great heights once Matt’s family gets possessed by demons. The goofy special effects (mostly fog machines, lasers and matte paintings) are never very impressive but are a helluva lotta fun, especially in the film’s not-so-climactic climax.

Oh man, the cast is like so totally awesome. Robert Urich, super macho badass of the century, plays something of a wimp in this one. Matt takes way more shit than he should but makes up for it with a few blasts from his laser gun. Joanna Cassidy (of Bladerunner) plays his sweet but materialistic wife who turns into a vicious vamp once she gets possessed. Soleil Moon Frye is so adorable as their daughter, Crissy, especially when she starts talking in that demonic voice. The shit is priceless. Even Joe Regalbuto (always good at playing a sleazeball) and the friggin’ amazing Kevin McCarthy (of UHF and The Howling) are also in this one. Yet it is Susan Lucci who steals the show as Jessica Jones (sounds like a porn name), the megabitch from hell.

All of you fabulous purveyors of silly 80s crap, need to get your hands on Invitation to Hell. This little throwaway TV blunder is pretty dang awesome if you’re willing to let it steal your soul for a little while. The super sweet ending proves once and for all that only love can conquer the forces of evil. No, I’m serious. Without love, evil country clubs will take a hot steaming demonic dump on your family. Especially your children. Is that what you want? A bunch of Satan’s excrement on your kids? Fine, be that way.

“We are the winners. We have to get rid of the losers.”

Haunting Fear

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Haunting Fear (1990)

Victoria Munroe (Brinke Stevens) is haunted by horrible nightmares particularly those involving premature burial. Her husband Terry (Jay Richardson) is more worried about paying off his loan shark and banging his secretary Lisa (Delia Sheppard). Victoria blames Dr. Carlton (Robert Clarke) for the death of her father and is haunted by visions of her dad being buried alive in her dreams. Meanwhile, Terry’s loan shark (played by Robert Quarry) sends his enforcer (Jan-Michael Vincent) posing as a police detective to keep an eye on the house in case Terry tries to skip town without paying.

Dr. Carlton calls in Dr. Julia Harcourt (Karen Black), a paranormal psychologist, to examine Victoria. Using hypnotherapy, she uncovers that Victoria was buried alive by her husband in a previous life. In order to get a hold of her dead father’s money and house, Terry and Lisa decide to use Victoria’s past life trauma to try and scare her into having a heart attack. What they don’t count on is Victoria going completely insane and going on a stabbing binge with a butcher knife.

Well, color me surprised. I wasn’t expecting Haunting Fear to be this good. I have now learned never to underestimate Fred Olen Ray. It’s not my fault though. Have you ever seen Biohazard? The quote from Edgar Allen Poe, the simple opening credits that look like a classic 70s horror film, and Chuck Cirino’s perfectly pretty and haunting score, instantly convinced me this was a different film from the usual Ray insanity. Production values are modest but not rock bottom and the film is cut and shot excellently. There’s as much atmosphere as there is hokey bullshit in the script and things just sort of balance out. To fill in the gaps, there’s sex and even a little gore.

Ray regular Jay Richardson is such a great sleazebag in this movie. I can’t help but like the guy even though he is the scum of the earth. He and the lovely Delia Sheppard have a couple of love scenes that are ridiculously violent. It’s a love scene but oh yeah, they beat the shit out of each other. Karen Black (The Day of the Locust) rocks the Loretta Swit wig and the pink lipstick but she just seems kind of annoyed during her scenes. Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes) makes a spirited cameo as a mortician. Jan-Michael Vincent is pretty good in this though he does seem a little out of place. His character has mixed up motivations (to say the least) but he does try to save the day. Alas, it is just too little, too late.

This really is Brinke Stevens’ (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama) movie. She knocks it out of the park as Victoria, a woman haunted by her dreams and who begins to lose her mind when those dreams start bleeding into the waking world. When she finally goes off the deep end, get the hell out of her way. Once her character comes back from the edge (I’m trying to not to say ‘brink’ here) of death, it is quite a transformation and well worth waiting for. When Stevens is in her crazy makeup, she channels Myrna Fahey in House of Usher but cranks it up a couple of loony notches.

Haunting Fear is a twisted and cruel little horror movie that works because it manages to be equally trashy, horrific, and fun. Instead of rushing through things or being half-assed, Fred Olen Ray puts a great deal of care into the production. There are moments of subtlety and patience to allow Brinke Stevens to do something great with her character and it pays off big time. Is this a cheesy B-movie? Sure. Does it meet the requirements for junky late night cable filler? You know it does! But more importantly, this movie is a prime example of how awesome flicks can seemingly come out of nowhere and, for those of us who love the genre, be our instant classics. I’m already nostalgic for Haunting Fear and I just watched it yesterday.

“What a fortunate turn of events. I think this calls for a hot tub session… of some kind.”

Ghoul School

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Ghoul School (1990)

A couple of criminals sneak into a high school to shake down the janitor for some money he owes them. They accidentally unleash a toxic chemical into the water supply. Two horror movie fans, Steve (played by William Friedman) and Jeff (Scott Gordon), discover that their school’s swim team has been turned into flesh-eating zombies. Just as they are about to make their escape, they realize that the metal band, The Bloodsucking Ghouls, are still in the auditorium, practicing for the school dance. Steve and Jeff make their way back through the zombie-infested school in order to rescue the band.

Holy crap! What an utterly hideous viewing experience! Now just hold on a sec, there’s something important here. If you revel in the extreme mullets, the odious fashions, and the cheesed-out heavy metal of the 1980s then Ghoul School might just be for you. The film is as cheap as they come (but they had squibs!) with performances only a mother could love. Keep your eyes peeled for legitimate cheeseball Ivan Sergei as the worst basketball player on Earth and character actor Richard Bright as Principal Kaplan (my favorite character).

Ghoul School comes to a grinding halt very early on once Joe Franklin and Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling have a scene together. The excuse for the film to feature Franklin is thin enough already (he is the speaker at a pep rally?) without an extended scene of he and Martling shticking it up. What high school student is able to appreciate the subtle comedic styling of Joe Franklin? I’m serious. The jump cuts indicate that this scene between these two jokers was probably even longer than it turned out here and that is some scary shit. Somehow the film recovers.

Elements of Return of the Living Dead and Class of Nuke ‘Em High are liberally borrowed but that’s only part of the problem. The fact that they play the same punk song over many of the gore scenes doesn’t help matters much and EVERYONE’S SHOUTING. However, those of you out there who seek out all this straight-to-video junk, Ghoul School will have its merits. The film has its own dumb energy that keeps right on through until the end but most viewers will walk away wondering why they bothered. Watch at your own risk.

Fan, The

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The Fan (1981)

Renowned film and stage actress, Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall), is making her Broadway debut and is also still settling in after her divorce from Jake (James Garner). So she has very little time to notice the letters of an obsessive fan named Douglas Breen (Michael Biehn) which are growing increasingly frightening. Breen quits his record store job in order to focus entirely on his growing “relationship” with Ross. He begins violently assaulting anyone close to her in order to make her take notice of him. Against the wishes of Inspector Andrews (Hector Elizondo), Sally flees to her beach home until word of Breen’s apparent suicide and a chance at a new start with Jake brings her back to the city and to her Broadway show. Unfortunately for Sally, stage-fright isn’t the only thing she has to worry about on opening night.

This 1981 thriller isn’t to be confused with the Snipes/De Niro disaster of the same name. No, The Fan starring Lauren Bacall is a disaster all its own. Edward Bianichi’s directorial debut is a clunky one (he didn’t direct another feature film for a decade) with several inspired moments. Cinematography by Dick Bush (Laughter in the Dark, Twins of Evil) is technically astounding and the film’s final shot is breathtaking. The incredible Pino Donaggio composes another excellent score for The Fan. Even the cast is top notch and the writing is decent enough to hold the film together. All the right pieces for a classic film are in place but something went wrong here. Let’s investigate, shall we?

Michael Biehn (Aliens, The Abyss) is quite convincing as Douglas, the obsessed fan. He nails the psycho part perfectly. Lauren Bacall is excellent as the sheltered and naive Sally Ross who thinks that she has seen it all. As Sally’s situation becomes more and more dire and her friends turn up either dead or horribly injured, Bacall convincingly transforms her character into a dynamic person with more on her mind than bumping into her ex-husband at a party. James Garner and Lauren Bacall’s chemistry as a divorced couple works quite well but when their relationship starts to blossom again, it just doesn’t float. Hector Elizondo is perfectly cast as Inspector Andrews. A standard cop character in anyone else’s hands, Elizondo easily breathes life into his minor role, often stealing scenes from the rest of the cast.

What is with the late 70s/early 80s obsession with Broadway? The scenes where Sally Ross is preparing for her musical debut are just fine because they are rehearsals and meant to be rough around the edges. But once her act hits the stage near the end of the film, take cover. Lauren Bacall cannot sing and her wonderful screen presence does not translate to a Broadway musical performance. Its’ just plain bad and I can only assume that the musical scenes are meant to be completely serious.

Another problem with the movie is the absence of gore and the inability of the director to stage a decent death scene. Now don’t get me wrong, there is quite a bit of blood shed and even a pierced jugular thrown in for good measure but the film is lacking that hard edge that a trashy ’81 thriller desperately needs. The most stilted and awkward moments in the film (other than the Broadway bits) come during the violent scenes. The attacks on Sally’s friends feel overly cautious. It may have been a studio imposed censorship (nice going, Paramount!) or the director holding back but they just aren’t very shocking at all. Bianichi can easily build tension but when it all comes to a head, I feel cheated.

The Fan is definitely an interesting watch but the filmmakers’ and the studio’s lack of confidence in the film really shows. Some of the film is shocking and sleazy while some of it is very tame where it shouldn’t be. The stalker phenomenon may be completely played out nowadays but if one watches this with 1981 eyes (don’t ask me what those are) then The Fan still manages to be quite frightening and tense through much of its running time. If nothing else, watch it for that final shot.

Emanuelle’s Revenge

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Emanuelle’s Revenge (1975)

Carlo (George Eastman) is a scumbag actor who is using his girlfriend Françoise (Patrizia Gori) like a prostitute. He uses her body to pay off gambling debts and to get parts in films until he gets bored and dumps her. Françoise is heartbroken and throws herself in front of a train. When her sister, Emanuelle (Rosemarie Lindt), finds out, she seduces Carlo and then kidnaps him. Instead of killing him, Emanuelle forces him to watch her bizarre sex games. Carlo thinks this is his fate, to watch forever until thirst (or horniness) gets the best of him. That is until Emanuelle reveals the final and most demented part of her plan of vengeance.

We enter the twisted world of director/cinematographer Joe D’Amato (Anthropophagus) once again to find that he has double-dipped us into sleazy sauce with Emanuelle’s Revenge. Psychosexual torture, anyone? As usual, D’Amato’s camerawork is sumptuous and the almost blindingly bright lighting is near perfect. While the plot is pretty clunky and painfully simple, this film still manages to entertain. And thankfully, it takes a detour into horror with a sweet hallucinatory sequence full of blood, violence, and cannibalism. Thank you, Joe.

The not-so-gentle giant, George Eastman (Rabid Dogs, Baba Yaga), plays another piece of shit frighteningly well. I really love Rosemarie Lindt’s performance as Emanuelle. Lindt manages to portray a woman whose mission of vengeance is wearing her down and is making her careless. Did someone say depressing? Wow, Patrizia Gori is fantastic as the doomed Françoise. While it is impossible to feel too much pity for someone who is throwing their life away (literally) for a destructive relationship, I couldn’t help but feel twinges of pain for her. That’s right, this softcore trash made me a little misty. What of it?

I must say that when a movie makes you feel this dirty, it has to be good. While nowhere near my favorite of Joe D’Amato’s efforts (try Death Smiled at Murder instead), Emanuelle’s Revenge definitely has its plusses. Like any Euro-sleaze worth its salt, this film has the required amount of J&B, cool cars, a brazenly funky film score, scuzzy sex scenes, and even a cameo by Italian genre cinema regular (and my hero), Luciano Rossi. As far as erotic thrillers go, you could certainly do worse.

Church, The

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The Church (1989)

Sometime in the 12th century, a group of Teutonic knights slaughtered a group of Pagans thinking them to plagued by a Satanic curse. A church was built on top of the site of the massacre. 800 years later, Evan the librarian (Tomas Arana) uncovers an ancient document that details a horrifying incident which inspired the design of the church. The closer Evan gets to uncovering the truth, the more bizarre and horrifying events begin to take place. When blood is shed inside the church, an automatic locking system traps everyone inside. Father Gus (Hugh Quarshie) tries to do his best to find the secret of the church’s architect in order to destroy the demonic plague before it spreads outside the church and destroys the world.

Michele Soavi (Stagefright) directs The Church AKA La Chiesa, an exercise in unholy atmosphere and gory entertainments. Visually, this film is nearly perfect: the razor-sharp cinematography, moody lighting, and must-be-seen-to-be-believed setpieces all come together in a dizzying explosion of hot and goopy damnation. The soundtrack provided by Keith Emerson, Philip Glass, Fabio Pignatelli, and Goblin is fantastic without a trace of any inappropriate heavy metal or silly pop.

Where the film goes wrong is in the writing. There are 8 or so writing credits (some credited, some not) heaped on The Church and you can really tell. This is one confusing film with many, many unanswered questions. The best unintentionally hilarious moment comes when Barbara Cupisti’s character calls the police from her (seemingly remote) cabin and their response time is around 30 seconds. Those viewers who need to understand what they’re watching will want to avoid this film. Oh, and the English dubbing. Holy crow, there are some awful voices and performances in this one.

TV and film actor, Hugh Quarshie, is excellent as Father Gus but where’s the dang character development? It’s pretty obvious that he’s the hero of the story once Evan the librarian goes south but the film could have easily devoted some time to giving some background to what drives Father Gus. Put Tomas Arana (Body Puzzle) on the list of actors that I don’t trust. Seriously, this guy is really creepy and I really hope he gets some more starring roles in horror films.

The Church sports quite a familiar faces from the Italian horror world. With an unforgettably menacing visage, Feodor Chaliapin Jr. (Dario Argento’s Inferno) is great as the creepy bishop. The queen of the overbites, Barbara Cupisti (Stagefright), plays Lisa, a young woman working at restoring the church’s frescos. The lovely and criminally underused actress Antonella Vitale gets all messed up in her role as “Bridal Model”. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for even more Italian horror awesomeness: John Richardson of Fear, Giovanni Radice of House On The Edge Of The Park, and of course, Asia Argento of The Stendhal Syndrome and Trauma.

The Church is a visually stunning film with a seriously battered and neglected script. The plot trails off several times and the WTF? factor is quite high throughout the running time. Thanks to Dario Argento’s producer credit, this film is quite lavish when compared to much of the late 80s Italian horror output. (Note: Supposedly, Dario Argento imposed some cuts to the film against Soavi’s wishes which might explain much of the film’s confusing narrative.) Also, you’ll have a tough time trying to find a film with as much blasphemy, perversion, and gore as The Church. The extremely talented Soavi went on to do even more amazing films such as The Sect and Cemetery Man before spending time directing made-for-TV action and drama films. We should all collectively pray that he returns to horror very soon.

“C’mon, have a biscuit! They’re groovy!”

Baby Blood

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Baby Blood (1990)

Yanka (Emmanuelle Escourrou) works in the circus along with her abusive husband and is terribly unhappy. One night, a parasitic monster bursts out of a recently delivered leopard and goes looking for a new host. Yanka is impregnated by the creature and the next day, she flees from her husband, stealing all of the circus’ money. As the weeks go by, Yanka’s child begins to speak to her telepathically. It tells her that it needs blood to survive and it forces her to kill using the threat of pain and death to spur her on. Before long, Yanka begins to enjoy killing for her baby and finds that she is becoming more and more careless and violent in her pursuit of blood. As the time of its birth comes closer, the creature tells her that she must take it to the ocean. Yanka then makes a bloody b-line for the sea leaving a path of gore and destruction in her wake.

Okay, where did the hell did this one come from? Think of Baby Blood as a shorter and less cerebral Possession (1981) and instead of Isabelle Adjani you get Emmanuelle Escourrou. This ain’t art but somehow it works. Director Alain Robak really has it in for the viewer with this one, pouring on the gore and blood liberally while filling the film with some of the most brutish and unattractive dudes I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the repulsive sensuality (?) of our leading lady. More on that later. The plot is quite chaotic and simple but builds up quite nicely to its explosive conclusion. The cinematography by Bernard Déchet is gritty, grimy, somewhat sleazy, and workmanlike but captures all of the action perfectly.

Emmanuelle Escourrou’s performance as Yanka (mother of the year) is quite a bold and dynamic one. She is willing to strip for the camera frequently, get covered in blood, put the pillow under her dress, and wholeheartedly take part in one of the most unflattering roles I’ve ever seen. Thankfully, the rest of the cast takes Baby Blood as seriously as the lead keeping the film from getting out of hand (too late) and campy. And did you ever wonder who the ugliest man in all of France is? Well, it might just be Jean-François Gallotte who plays Richard, the ex-clown “ladies’ man”, who has the brilliant idea of attempting to start a relationship with Yanka.

As it moves erratically along, Baby Blood becomes madder and madder in its willingness to shed more and more blood as well as become even more outlandish with each scene. The very literal male-bashing becomes quite shocking as Yanka’s own bloodlust surfaces out of her child’s need. Clearly, our voluptuous gap-toothed vixen has some issues. Is Baby Blood a sloppy, slippery, and chunky feminist manifesto? You make the call, duder.

I have to put Baby Blood way up there in my top 10 Eurohorror flicks of all time. It’s also a must see for anyone who doubts the French’s ability to make quality horror. I have been infatuated with Yanka (ewww, now I feel dirty) and her grisly Cronenbergesque journey since I first caught the censored cut of this on VHS a while back as The Evil Within. Expecting mothers beware, this is a trashy tale of body horror with a serious mean streak. Baby Blood will make you feel all warm and fuzzy (and squishy and squirmy) on the inside shortly before it asks you to kill for fresh male blood but only because it wants to be born. But isn’t that what we all want?

Alien Predator

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Alien Predator (1985)

When Skylab crashes to Earth containing an alien parasite that causes people to go mad shortly before their heads explode, NASA steps in to clean up the mess. Unfortunately, the monstrous parasite proves to be too much for the scientists and their temporary base in Duerte, Spain is abandoned and the entire town is infected. Three American college students: Damon (Dennis Christopher), Michael (Martin Hewitt), and Sam (Lynn-Holly Johnson) just happen to be driving their RV through Duerte when they discover that the town is full of raving lunatics. They meet Dr. Tracer (Luis Prendes), a specialist from NASA, who believes he can develop an antidote to the parasite. Now the four of them must fight off the insane inhabitants of the town while working on the antidote before the rest of the world becomes infected.

Seeketh splatter and ye shall find it. But at what cost? I finally tracked down Alien Predator (thanks to the help of Uncle Sam at B-Headed). You see, I had nothing more than a couple of half-remembered scenes to go on. My mind was snagged on some images of mutilated corpses and dreary Spanish scenery from a movie I hadn’t seen in 20 years. So here I am, reunited (and it feels so good?) with Alien Predator at last. Why don’t we scavenge this corpse together? Chicken violence!

Deran Sarafian directs Alien Predator (about a million miles away from Alien Vs. Predator), a horror/sci-fi film that is dark, surreal, splattery, and pretty dumb, all at the same time. The story, based on a screenplay called “RV Park Massacre” or some BS, is pretty clunky, somewhat padded, and wildly unoriginal. Hey, how about another car chase!?! There are some disturbing and quite nasty gore setpieces scattered throughout the film but they just aren’t enough to catapult Alien Predator into the halls of classic splatter flicks. The soundtrack is ominous and perfectly suited for a horror movie until it suddenly dips into some 80s ass pop. Decent lighting and workmanlike cinematography come together quite well to provide a handful of eerie moments. The Spanish locations are especially drab adding to the sickening and hopeless atmosphere of the film.

Dennis Christopher (Fade To Black, Doppelganger) delivers as Damon, a goofy but rarely irritating “ladies man” (read as: subdued and charming crackhead). Veteran Spanish actor Luis Prendes does a fine job as Dr. Tracer but I’m sure glad he ditched his sidekick early on. I’m talking about J.O. Bosso. I don’t know who he is but I know that I couldn’t have been any happier when his character, Captain Wells, blows his brains out. Bond-girl Lynn-Holly Johnson (The Watcher In The Woods) is great with her spunky portrayal of (bad hair) Sam.

Now this is where the casting of this film is even more damaging than the script: Martin Hewitt as Michael. Holy shit, this guy is a terrible performer and astoundingly bland. His only believable scene is at the beginning when he is asleep at the wheel of the RV. Once the romance between Michael and Sam starts heating up, it’s all over. The fact that this is supposed to be our hero couldn’t be more pitiful. Dennis Christopher is clearly the romantic lead, dang it! I probably shouldn’t elaborate on my feelings.

Even though this movie was scratching at the back of my mind for 20 years and even though I really enjoyed it, I’m still having a tough time working up a good recommendation. As creepy and gory (exploding faces!) as Alien Predator is, it is also painfully stupid. The film gets bogged down in lame car chases and a romantic sub-diversion that will have you screaming for (“Hollywood’s #1 Driver!”) Michael’s head on a platter. In the film’s favor, there is an undeniable aura of weirdness throughout (dig those locals) and I’m astounded that the filmmakers got so much right. Alien Predator delivers quite a few genuinely haunting moments and downright freaky gore effects but folks looking for a lost 80s classic will be disappointed. I just can’t believe that I snuck this one past my parents all those years ago. Suckers!

Night of Dark Shadows

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Night Of Dark Shadows (1971)

Quentin Collins (David Selby of “Dark Shadows”) inherits the estate of Collinwood and moves in with his wife Tracy (Kate Jackson of “Scarecrow and Mrs. King”, “Dark Shadows”). Not long after arriving Quentin begins to have visions of a long dead witch named Angelique (Lara Parker of “Dark Shadows”) along with his ancestor Charles Collins (also Selby). With the help of the sinister housekeeper Carlotta (Grayson Hall: The Night of the Iguana, “Dark Shadows”) the spirit of Angelique slowly starts manipulating Quentin. Will Tracy with the help of husband and wife novelist team Alex (John Karlen: “Murder She Wrote”, “Dark Shadows”) and Claire (Nancy Barrett of, you guessed it, “Dark Shadows”) be able to free Quentin from Angelique’s clutches before it is too late?

In 1970 “Dark Shadows” creator/producer Dan Curtis (Burnt Offerings, The Night Stalker) decided the time was right to a make a feature length “Dark Shadows” film. The resulting effort was the excellent House Of Dark Shadows, a film that took the high points of the first major storyline of vampire Barnabas Collins and boiled it down into 97 minutes. It was a box office success and plans for a sequel were soon launched but by then the show had gone off the air and Jonathan Frid (Barnabas) would not make the film due to fear of typecasting. (Too late really. He should have done it because he was already typecast.) Dan and screenwriter Sam Hall quickly came up with an idea that loosely corresponded with the television show’s ‘parallel time’ episodes. And I’ll say this now, you do not have to be familiar with the show to watch this film.

Most of the folks in the film were in “Dark Shadows” the television show. Whereas Grayson Hall played (mainly) Dr. Julia Hoffman on the show, here she plays Carlotta the housekeeper, a character that never appeared on the show. Conversely David Selby did play Quentin Collins on the show but apparently not the same Quentin Collins that we see in the film. In fact Selby played two different Quentin Collinses on the show. So it can get a bit confusing. It’s made mention in the film that Collinwood was left to Quentin by his aunt Elizabeth (played on the show by Joan Bennett (Suspiria) in her only television role) and although we never see her it seems to be an attempt to tie the film to the series. In fact the witch Angelique is played by the same actress that played Angelique in the television show. But in the film it seems unlikely that this is the same Angelique that cursed Barnabas to be a vampire, one reason being that the television Angelique’s last name is Bouchard while the film’s Angelique has the surname of Collins. I say all this not to pick on the film, as I am a huge “Dark Shadows” fan, but to bring up my next point:

MGM forced Dan Curtis to cut 34 minutes from the film bringing it down from a run time of 129 minutes to 94. And they only gave him 24 hours to do it. Actually he originally cut it down to 97 minutes and the remainder was cut in order to achieve a GP rating. There is one particularly bloody scene in the film and one wonders how many more graphic scenes were cut. The film was successful but not as much as its predecessor and fans have always pointed to the editing as the main reason why. Watching the film it is obvious it was hacked up (I hesitate to use the word hacked because I do not believe that that was Curtis’ mindset while he was trimming) but not in an overly confusing way. People you’ve never seen before don’t pop up suddenly and the film doesn’t make any wild jumps in logic. It just feels like there are some things missing. According to Wikipedia those things are: another flashback to Angelique and Charles Collins, two more scenes of Gerard the handyman/caretaker, romantic scenes of Quentin and Tracy, more hanging scenes, and a candlelit exorcism scene that was to be the climax. Reportedly in 1999 the footage was discovered sans audio, 16 new scenes total and bits that extended scenes, injecting a darker tone. Hopes were high when the current DVD and blu-ray releases were announced that Warner Home Video would be reinstating the scenes but it didn’t happen. All we got for extras was a trailer.

As far as the editing that I did notice, two things in particular jump to mind. While reading Wikipedia it mentions that Alex and Claire Jenkins move into the cottage along with Quentin and Tracy moving into the mansion. Watching the film it seems to me that Alex and Claire had already been living there for a while as it is mentioned that Alex had met Carlotta the housekeeper a while before when they first moved in, while we see Quentin and Tracy meet Carlotta for the first time at the beginning of the film. (And while I am at it, Quentin says he has never been to Collinwood before which makes him being the television Quentin (either of them) even more unlikely.) The other is Wikipedia’s mention of Charles’ fate in the past. Without spoiling it I will say that unless I missed it, there is a discrepancy there as well. It is impossible for me to say if this is a case of me missing something, those particular parts being edited out, Wikipedia going off a slightly longer script/source, or Wikipedia simply being incorrect.

But what about the film itself? I enjoy it quite a bit while lamenting what is lost. Atmospheric cinematography from Richard Shore compliments Curtis’ surefooted direction. Flashbacks have the woozy blurring of the sides of the frame. The hanging scene is shot from some interesting angles. The film was shot on the grounds of Lyndhurst estate, a huge gothic manor, which is a huge asset to the film’s production value. Robert Cobert’s score ranges from ominous piano to harmonica (not as bad as it sounds) to creepy music lifted straight from the show. Selby does a great job as the haunted Quentin, a pre- Charlie’s Angels Kate Jackson is impossibly cute and perky and Lara Parker’s Angelique is threateningly evil in flashback while being very convincing as the ghostly apparition in the present. There’s one effect that is a bit cheesy but nothing out of line with films from this period. Unlike House Of Dark Shadows this was made without the burden of having to make the show at the same time and it shows (not that House feels particularly rushed.) That fact makes it even harder to accept that the studio demanded cuts. This could be a minor classic 70’s horror film (and I personally think it is anyway) in more people’s minds if there were a longer, slightly more realized cut out there somewhere. And speaking of the two films I’ve always thought that they should have swapped titles. This film seems a better fit with the title House Of Dark Shadows since it is Quentin’s arrival at the house which sets the film’s events into motion.

An interesting bit of trivia is the production’s hiring of famed paranormal researcher Hans Holzer (several books and an Amityville investigation) to give some authenticity to the film but sadly a lot of that seems to have hit the cutting room floor in the form of the exorcism. A prologue was written with a hippie sneaking into the house and being killed by Angelique and Gerard but it was never filmed which is interesting because the film does open a bit abruptly.

I recommend Night of Dark Shadowns to the 70’s horror film fan with the caveat that you are not (and probably won’t ever be) seeing what Dan Curtis intended for you to. He took the risky step of making a “Dark Shadows” film without the character of Barnabas and despite the cuts came out with a visually pleasing gothic chiller. But oh what might have been.

-Brad Hogue

Whip Bats – Coventi E Catacombe

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Whip Bats is a relentless synth and drum machine assault from the bowels of horror movie soundtrack hell. This demonically fun 7 song CD has so many catchy hooks and hypnotic moments that it’ll make you a Whip Bats fan for life. The packaging is done up in the style of a long lost VHS tape and there’s even a plot for the film starring legendary actors Veronica D’Amour and Alberto Ambrogio on the back. Imaginary horror movies are near and dear to my heart and that touch of detail lends even more atmosphere to this already eerie collection of songs. Get your copy from Goblinhaus Records.