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Cry for the Strangers
Directed by Peter Medak
Released: 1982
Starring Patrick Duffy, Cindy Pickett, Lawrence Pressman, Brian Keith,
Claire Malis, Robin Ignico, Shawn Carson
Running Time: 97 minutes
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In the prologue, a young boy
dreams of some Native American ghosts dancing on the beach around people
buried up to their necks in the sand. The next morning, he finds out that
he wasn’t dreaming and that it was his grandparents who were buried in the
sand and drowned. In present time (1982), Dr. Brad Russell (played by
Patrick Duffy) and his wife Elaine (Cindy Pickett) arrive in Clark’s
Harbor, a small seaside town to rest and ‘reconnect’ (meaning: ‘get it
on’) in a beautiful house they’re renting. The locals aren’t too thrilled
with strangers and they are given the cold shoulder especially from Chief
Whalen (Brian Keith), the local law enforcement.
Coincidentally, Brad runs into Glenn Palmer (Lawrence Pressman), the
father of one of his former patients who also just happens to live in
Clark’s Harbor. The reason the Palmers have relocated is that their son,
Robby (Shawn Carson), diagnosed as a hyper-kinetic child, completely
recovers from his condition whenever he is in the village. This would be a
miracle except this picturesque fishing community is also the site of
multiple mysterious deaths of newcomers and strangers to the harbor. Every
time a bad storm blows in, somebody dies.
I was a member of the John Saul fan club at one point. I don’t know why
but I was. Somehow director Peter Medak (The
Changeling,
The Babysitter)
and writer J.D. Feigelson (Dark
Night of the Scarecrow)
decided to completely ruin this made-for-TV adaptation of one of John
Saul’s weaker efforts (so I guess it doesn’t matter). Dudes, what
happened? My first indication that we were in real trouble came from the
terrible Jaws-like
music of composer John Cacavas. Next came the lame black and white
prologue which went on forever. Then the rest of the movie happened.
Patrick Duffy is a cheesy dude for sure but this cast has some real
nutjobs in it. One goofball involved in this tortuous flick is Martin Kove
(The Karate Kid),
who plays a doomed fisherman whose brother gets blown up. Kove is an
insanely prolific actor that I cannot take seriously but who is always
awesome. One insanely funny moment takes place when his character, Jeff,
is trying to get to the bottom of his bro’s mysterious death. There is
this melodramatic crane shot while he looks fearfully along the coastline.
Hmm, I guess you had to be there.
Cindy Pickett is probably best remembered as Ferris Bueller’s mom but I
think she makes great strides in her acting vocabulary when stroking
Patrick Duffy’s beard. Her eye makeup has a complete breakdown in this
movie but Cindy carries on. Veteran character actor Jeff Corey plays
Riley, the crazy old man who is the only one who knows what’s really going
on. He rambles about “storm-dancers” and cackles when he talks about crabs
eating people who have drowned. This is why he is amazing and annoying.
The town doctor is played by Parley Baer who you may remember from EVERY
TELEVISION SHOW EVER MADE! Yet in this shitbox movie, he is actually
underused. WTF, man?
Kid actors are always a treat aren’t they!?! First up is freaky little
Robin Ignico, who was awesome in the far superior made-for-TV horror flick
Don’t Go to Sleep
(but who didn’t get the title role in
Annie).
She does some of her finest whiny brattiness right here. And then there
was Shawn Carson of
Something Wicked This Way Comes.
Here he plays Robby Palmer and almost saves the movie with his creepiness.
This kid’s 1,000 yard stare is off the hook.
Beautiful scenery and excellent cinematography are no match for the truly
idiotic editing. Show the clouds again! Show that same shot of those
stupid ass clouds one more time and I’ll- THEY SHOWED THEM AGAIN!!! Wait,
this sounds familiar. These are just like the clouds from
Slaughterhouse Rock except they aren’t as
sped up. Why am I watching this busted ass junk anyway? It’s because I’m
dumb.
Cry for the Strangers?
More like Crap on the Viewers! WHOOO! But seriously, this boring, clunky
and predictable TV horror movie just really sucks. Even heckling got old
after a while and I just kept praying for the ending to come. Speaking of
which, if you do happen to watch this crap, make sure you stick around for
the hilarious twisty reveal at the end to witness the director’s futile
attempt at delivering some kind of a surprise. I had to pause, rewind and
play it again just to let its unintentional comic fury blow out the back
of my skull.
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Quotes
“This ain’t a safe harbor.”
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