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Invitation to Hell
Directed by Wes Craven
Released: 1984
Starring Robert Urich, Joanna Cassidy, Susan Lucci, Joe Regalbuto, Kevin
McCarthy
Running Time: 100 minutes
DVD Studio: Artisan/Lions Gate
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The Winslow family has
relocated so that Matt, the dad (played by Robert Urich), can start his
new job at an electronics corporation called Micro-Digitech. His special
talent with electronics will be applied to a new spacesuit the company is
developing. This heat resistant spacesuit is equipped with a deadly laser,
a flamethrower, and sensors that can detect whether or not a being is
human or not. Hmm, I wonder if that will come in handy later?
The Winslows have a beautiful home in an idyllic neighborhood but things
aren’t all that they seem. Jessica Jones (Susan Lucci), director of the
Steaming Springs country club keeps encouraging Matt and his family to
join. But this is no ordinary country club. The membership fee is very
reasonable; it will only cost you your soul! Matt is able to resist the
temptations of Steamy Springs but his dumb family are a bunch of selfish
twits who don’t know any better. Now he has to put on a friggin’ spacesuit
and go save them.
Released only months before
A Nightmare on Elm Street
destroyed the world,
Invitation to Hell is
one of Wes Craven’s best failures. Like his pitiful
Deadly Friend,
this cheesy and incredibly dated made-for-TV movie bears absolutely no
resemblance to other Craven classics like
Last House on the Left
and The Hills Have Eyes.
I’m just now discovering a bunch of these little televised gems from
Craven’s body of work for myself and so far I’m not regretting it at all.
Screenwriter Richard Rothstein (who went on to write
Universal Soldier)
did most of the damage so I guess it really doesn’t matter who directed
this thing. The plot is laughably generic and the camp value hits great
heights once Matt’s family gets possessed by demons. The goofy special
effects (mostly fog machines, lasers and matte paintings) are never very impressive but are a helluva lotta fun, especially in
the film’s not-so-climactic climax.
Oh man, the cast is like so totally awesome. Robert Urich, super macho
badass of the century, plays something of a wimp in this one. Matt takes
way more shit than he should but makes up for it with a few blasts from
his laser gun. Joanna Cassidy (of
Bladerunner)
plays his sweet but materialistic wife who turns into a vicious vamp once
she gets possessed. Soleil Moon Frye is so adorable as their daughter,
Crissy, especially when she starts talking in that demonic voice. The shit
is priceless. Even Joe Regalbuto (always good at playing a sleazeball) and
the friggin’ amazing Kevin McCarthy (of
UHF
and The Howling)
are also in this one. Yet it is Susan Lucci who steals the show as Jessica
Jones (sounds like a porn name), the megabitch from hell.
All of you fabulous purveyors of silly 80s crap, need to get your hands on
Invitation to Hell.
This little throwaway TV blunder is pretty dang awesome if you’re willing
to let it steal your soul for a little while. The super sweet ending
proves once and for all that only love can conquer the forces of evil. No,
I’m serious. Without love, evil country clubs will take a hot steaming
demonic dump on your family. Especially your children. Is that what you
want? A bunch of Satan’s excrement on your kids? Fine, be that way.
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Quotes
“We are the winners. We have
to get rid of the losers.”
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