Impulse
Directed by William Grefe
Released: 1974
Starring William Shatner, Ruth Roman, Jenifer Bishop, and Kim Nicholas
Running Time: 82 minutes

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Young Matthew Stone saves his mother from being raped by a total scumbag by driving a sword through his heart. Years later (in the fabulous 1970s), after a stint in the loony bin, Matt (played by William Shatner) is all grown up and gets by as a conman and a gigolo. He also happens to be insane, murdering anyone that jeopardizes his flashy lifestyle. The widow Ann (Jenifer Bishop) is just dumb enough to fall under the spell of this louse but her awful daughter Tina (Kim Nicholas) sees right through Matt’s façade.

Filmed in “lovely” Tampa, Florida, Impulse is an unimpressive masterpiece of lame half-hearted trash with some unintentionally hilarious moments. With a cop show soundtrack, dismal writing, and after school special cinematography, it is a miracle that this mostly dull and derivative film ever made it to DVD. The murder scenes are campy beyond belief and end up being gloriously funny instead of intense. The film is watchable enough and will get a few laughs if one watches it with some inebriated friends. But those who dare to witness its terrible, bland numbness will probably need counseling afterwards.

The characters in this junky thriller are paper-thin and the dialogue is contrived and predictable. The miracle comes from the actors taking this shit seriously. Single mom Ann just can’t seem to find the right guy and of course, she goes right for the biggest shitbag she can find. There’s Julia (played by Ruth Roman), Ann’s best friend, the raspy 3 time widower and swinin’ old gal who can appreciate a good obscene phone call. Harold Sakata has a small part as Karate Pete, an old crony of Matt’s, who tries to muscle his way in on his scam and pays dearly for it. And finally, there’s Tina, Ann’s shrill daughter who is supposed to be sympathetic but I couldn’t help but pray for her death in every scene.

Everyone knows that William Shatner is a total psychopath and Impulse proves it. My favorite way to describe him is “morbidly sincere” giving everything he has (which isn’t much) into every role he takes, regardless of how pitiful the project might be. Of course, I might just as well be describing the man’s career-sustaining genius but that’s another discussion altogether. This time Shatner is decked out in lame 70s suits and ginormous collars, smoking cigarillos, and driving bad ass muscle cars while charming his way into the pants of every woman he meets. I will admit that he does give Matt Stone a couple of choice moments of unbridled insanity. Watching Shatner go off his rocker at Busch Gardens and tell a woman she should be ground up into dog meat is the single greatest reason to watch this film.

I hope I’m not making Impulse seem like a good time. This film isn’t sleazy, or bad, or fun enough to achieve cult status; it just exists. Much like the director’s other crapfest, Mako: The Jaws of Death, Impulse feels like it tried to overdose on aspirin just before shooting started. Crappy hotel rooms, multiple J&B scotch whiskey sightings, and day for night filters abound as Shatner does his thing (over enunciate his lines with dramatic pauses and generally embarrass himself) in a film that luckily resurfaced before anyone mistook it for a lost camp classic.

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Quotes

“Nobody is ‘just friends’ with a bellydancer.”