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Splatter Farm
Directed By Mark Polonia, John Polonia, and Todd Smith
Released: 1987
Starring: John Polonia, Mark Polonia, Marion Costly, and Todd Smith
Running Time: 70 minutes
DVD Released By Camp Motion Pictures 2007
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Alan and Joseph (played by John and Mark Polonia) head
out to spend their summer at their Aunt’s farm. What they don’t know is that
their Aunt Lacey (Marion Costly) and her son Jeremy (Todd Smith) are
completely insane. Jeremy has a propensity for self-mutilation and murder
and Aunt Lacey has some very unusual feelings for Alan. While snooping
around one day, Joseph discovers human remains scattered all around the
farm. Before the brothers can report anything to the police, Jeremy springs
into action and a senseless slaughter begins.
Splatter Farm
is grim, offensive, sick, kind of dull, kind of dumb, and trashy beyond
belief. The camerawork is surprisingly good and there are a few shots that
are so well-framed that I was just blown away having discovered them buried in
this little gorefest. The dialogue and the plot are the weakest points here.
The big reveal at the end of the film has all of its power robbed by awful
writing. While the filmmakers do wear their influences on their sleeves (the
embarrassing skin mask dance!), the film doesn’t degenerate into a horror
reference-fest like I feared it would.
As for the actors, everyone does a pretty dang good job considering they are
all non-professionals. The brothers get pretty whiny and Todd Smith is
definitely better at the brooding silence than at delivering dialogue. Mad
props go to Marion Costly for her performance as Aunt “I just want to get my
incestuous groove on” Lacey. As an actress, she is a little stiff but is a
brave lady for going through with some of the sick things her character has
to do.
While it was obviously a low budget production,
Splatter Farm works thanks to a squishy
minimalist synth soundtrack and a desolate and claustrophobic atmosphere.
What’s more is that the film goes where you really don’t want it to go.
Sorry folks, but you’re in for an irresponsibly nasty little ride. It is
fascinating to see how far the filmmakers were willing to go to shock their
audience. The incestuous and scatological themes are as surprising as they
are nauseating.
So yeah, Splatter Farm
is a cheap gore “documentary” of the worst summer vacation ever. Depressing,
gross, silly, and squirm-inducing, this is not a fun film but gorehounds
will be pleased to find that the Polonia brothers and company pull no
punches whatsoever. For as promising of a debut as
Splatter Farm
was, I can’t help but wonder how the same Polonia brothers could have gone
on to make
Razorteeth. Anyway, watch out for
Jeremy. That kid’s gotta a funny way about him.
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DVD Stuff:
Camp Motion Pictures does it again…
Splatter Farm,
shot on a commercial video camera 20 years ago, looks surprisingly good on
this disc. The audio is in good shape as well. I had some trouble with the
varying volumes of dialogue but none of the dialogue is impossible to hear
or so loud and blown out that it threatened to destroy my speakers.
There are plenty of extras to keep you busy on this DVD. There is feature
commentary by Mark and John Polonia and a great documentary about making
the film called “Back To The Farm”. A cool treat on the disc are their
early 8mm horror films. Even though the commentary by the Polonia brothers
is entertaining, I still wish there was an option to watch these 8mm
pieces without the voiceovers or with some canned horror music. Rounding
off the extras are some trailers for other Camp Motion Pictures releases.
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Links:
Camp Motion Pictures.
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Quotes:
Joseph: “I hate to spoil lunch but I gotta take a
shit!”
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