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Cinderella 2000
Directed By Al Adamson
Released: 1977
Starring: Catherine Erhardt, Erwin Fuller, Vaughn Armstrong, and Jay B.
Larson
Running Time: 90 minutes, 104 minutes (European version)
DVD Released By Retro-Seduction Cinema
In the year, 2047, recreational sex has been outlawed by the Controller
(played by Erwin Fuller), a Big Brother type leader. People are only
allowed to mate for reproductive purposes at strictly scheduled times and
violators are shrunk down to doll size. Cindy (Catherine Erhardt), who
lives with her stepmother and two stepsisters, dreams of finding a prince
to take her away from her life of drudgery. Her prince is Tom Prince
(Vaughn Armstrong), a sexual surrogate and right hand man of Controller.
With the help of her fairy godfather (Jay B. Larson), Cindy gets all
dressed up to attend a fancy ball thrown by Tom Prince in the hopes of
finally fulfilling her dream. Wacky and sexy situations ensue.
Well, I’m just flabbergasted! No, make that completely discombobulated
over this one. Director Al Adamson (Nurse
Sherri,
Brain Of Blood)
delivers
Cinderella 2000, a
truly bizarre beast: A softcore sex sci-fi musical without the proper
budget, acting talent, or choreography to pull off any of what this film
tries to accomplish. Strangely enough,
Cinderella 2000 is
a completely engrossing disaster that is riotously funny completely by
accident.
Catherine “Attack Of The Low Alto” Erhardt plays Cindy, our lead here who
spends much of the time looking spaced out or with a look of vague concern
on her face during her stepsisters’ catfights. Did someone say
stepsisters? Bella (Buri Cowans) and Stella (Adina Ross) tear up the
screen and tear off each other’s clothes in a couple of sweet catfights.
Controller is played by the perilously mustachioed Erwin Fuller. His is a
great performance from an actor that runs wild with his character. Jay B.
Larson’s fairy godfather is awfully sage-like and yet how could you trust
him with those horrifying helpers who resemble some kind of genetic
human/Play-Doh experiment.
I have to say a word or two about my stepmotherly love for the evil
stepmother played by the shameless Renee Harmon (Frozen
Scream,
Night Of Terror).
Her character is probably the least malevolent stepmother of Cinderella
ever committed to film. My heart just melts when she comes down with a
wicked case of the hornies. On the opposite side of the spectrum is Roscoe
The Robot who nearly broke my spirit. You know what? I found out there is
a god because Roscoe didn’t use his soul-destroying speaking voice to sing
his big number. Blessed be.
Cinderella 2000 is
both insanely fun and profoundly disturbing at the same time. Some of the
costumes in the fairy godfather’s number are night terror inducing and the
way Cindy appeases the Controller (at the request of Tom Prince) is pretty
messed up if you think about it. Unfortunately, the film overstays its
welcome towards the end and it really needs that big finale that never
happens. But that’s about as much complaining as I can do about
Cinderella 2000.
This naughty musical is a classic piece of crap if there ever was one and
all bad movie enthusiasts should be making time for this one. Better
hurry, 2047 is just around the corner, folks. In the future, there will be
chemistry set skylines.
DVD Stuff:
The
Cinderella 2000 DVD
looks fairly good in full frame but it really does need a widescreen
release. Neither the American version nor the European on this disc are in
their proper aspect ratio. However, the print here isn’t terrible. It has
some scratches and some washed out colors but that only ads to the cheesy
70s vibe. Audio is quite clear and only sounds blown out when Roscoe The
Robot was speaking (screeching).
The extras on the disc are quite formidable. The disc includes the more
somewhat more explicit European cut of the film which runs an extra 14
minutes longer. There is a very informative commentary from co-producer
Sam Sherman that runs about an hour into the film. Dig the vintage
trailers! Some of the titles include
Nurse Sherri,
Naughty Stewardesses,
Five Bloody Graves,
and
Mean Mother. There
is also a trailer for
Cinderella 2000 as
well.
Links:
For more info, hit up
Retro-Seduction Cinema or
Pop Cinema.
Quotes:
Fairy Godfather: “Love is… Take off your clothes, rub up against someone
until the sparks fly, until you get it on!”
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