Peter Campbell (Lochlyn Munro) is having trouble opening his first bed & breakfast. His girlfriend, Darcy (Chandra West), isn’t particularly supportive of his decision to start his own business and the local yokel squatters believe that they own the land. But Peter’s biggest worries have to do with an old witch nicknamed “The Tooth Fairy” who claims children’s souls as well as their teeth. Unfortunately, Darcy’s daughter, Pamela (Nicole Muñoz) just happens to be one baby tooth away from being easy prey for the witch. When that last tooth comes out, all hell breaks loose as The Tooth Fairy comes looking for Pamela, brutally dispatching anyone in her path. With only the ghost of Emma (Jianna Ballard), one of the witch’s victims, to help them, Pamela and her parents must fight to survive the wrath of The Tooth Fairy.

TV director Chuck Bowman and writer/producer Stephen J. Cannell try their hand at horror with The Tooth Fairy. Direction, editing, and cinematography are all tight but the story is pretty weak. Is this the first horror movie with a weak plot? No? Then let’s get to good stuff. The unexpectedly bloody and gorily intricate makeup and horror effects are a real treat and certainly tack some balls onto the film. This tooth fairy isn’t content with string tied to a doorknob or a pair of pliers for her butchery. Hell, she’s not even content with teeth! Watch as she takes down folks with a nail-gun, a hatchet, and even a wood-chipper during her bloody assault.

Most of the crappiness (other than the script) comes from the adult actors in The Tooth Fairy. While the lead kids (Nicole Muñoz and Jianna Ballard) definitely show some promise, the grown-ups (Chandra West!) are corny as hell. Their paper-thin characters leave room for some fun shenanigans but sadly everyone just seems confused. B-movie fans will no doubt find the charm in these performances (like I do). I love Carrie Fleming’s portrayal of Star Roberts, the college-bound ex-stripper who probably needs to restrain herself when it comes to the hot dudes.

Speaking of hot dudes, there’s three of them for the ladies in the audience to choose from. First up, Lochlyn Munro (Scary Movie, Freddy Vs. Jason) plays Peter “Step On My Dick” Campbell who, after finding the world of medicine too fast-paced decides to open up a bed & breakfast. Big mistake. Next, there’s Steve Bacic as alternative rocker Cole who lets his guard down while waiting for Star to come to bed. Big mistake. Finally, there’s Jesse Hutch who plays the hot handyman, Bobby, who decides to test the wood-chipper at two in the morning. Huge freakin’ mistake!

Do not under any circumstances watch The Tooth Fairy alone but not because anything even remotely frightening happens. No, The Tooth Fairy is retardedly entertaining and will be quite a memorable experience for a gang of inebriated friends ripping it a new one. Blessed with some surprisingly brutal and gory death scenes and some token nudity from the exceedingly hot Carrie Fleming, this cheap expensive looking movie is actually a lot of fun (unlike 2003's Darkness Falls).

Quotes

“What’s your dick doin’ over there, Chuck?”

DVD Stuff

The Tooth Fairy is presented ever so nicely on this Anchor Bay DVD. The 1.78:1 aspect ratio and Dolby sound make for a pleasant viewing. Now onto the extras on the disc… There is a making-of feature called “Hatchet Job: The Making Of The Tooth Fairy” with some cool behind-the-scenes action going on and another feature called “Tales Of The Tooth Fairy” where members of the cast relate stories of their run-ins with the less violent Tooth Fairy of their childhoods. There is a commentary track from director Chuck Bowman, producer Stephen J. Cannell, and actor Jesse Hutch as well as some trailers for other Anchor Bay horror titles.