Three dorky college students, Calvin, Keith, and Jimmie, sneak over to the Delta Delta Delta sorority to house to spy on their initiation ceremony. Meanwhile, Babs, Frankie, and Rhonda are busy humiliating their new pledges, Taffy (Brinke Stevens) and Lisa (Michelle Bauer), when they catch Calvin & Co. sneaking around the Tri Delta House. As punishment, the boys must accompany the pledges to the mall, sneak into the bowling alley, and steal a bowling trophy in order to help the girls complete their initiation. Babs and her sorority sisters secretly follow along to keep an eye on things through the mall's security cameras. It's there that the gang meets Spider (played by Linnea Quigley), a ne'er-do-well punk, who just happens to be robbing the place.

Jimmie accidentally drops the bowling trophy unleashing the Imp (voiced by Michael Sonye), a being who promises to fulfill their wishes. Things go wrong when the Imp takes possession of the Tri Delta girls turning them into murderous demons. The bowling alley quickly turns into a slaughterhouse as Calvin and Spider try to find a way to defeat the Imp. The odd duo gets a little help from the mall's overnight janitor (played by George 'Buck' Flower) but they'll have to get through the newly possessed Babs first.

David DeCoteau (Creepozoids) directs this inspiring coming of age story penned by one time screenwriter, Sergei Hasenecz. Filmed almost entirely in a San Diego bowling alley during its closed hours, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is an American classic waiting to be discovered only by viewers ready to rediscover themselves. The practically epic plot is not only a modern take on "The Monkey's Paw" but it is also a passionate tale of forbidden love. There is so much conflict and tragedy going on it makes the rigorously delivered dialogue almost an afterthought. Am I pulling your leg? Yes. Am I pulling my own? I don't know.

Static camerawork is really the only technical crime committed as the lighting and sound are both acceptable. Special effects include a negative filter (used only once!), some animated lightning, a fire suit, a crude faux severed head, and the nearly immobile Imp puppet. The film's soundtrack is populated by ferocious attack-pop, evil carnival music, and shitcan love ballads. The aforementioned bowling alley and mall settings are as banal (yet glorious) as you might imagine. Appropriately, the cast yucks it up for the camera and performances are mind-warpingly bad yet perfectly suited for the material.

Andras Jones (A Nightmare On Elm Street 4) effortlessly portrays Calvin, the ubergeek, horror movie freak, and everyman of this tale. His sexual awakening while spying on the Tri Deltas, his humbling experience getting drunk on his first (and only) beer, and the blossoming of his first romance with Spider, are all flawlessly executed. Closet dominatrix, Babs, is brought to life by Robin Stille (Slumber Party Massacre) and the hair-obsessed bride of Frankenstein look-alike, Frankie (Carla Baron of Hack-O-Lantern), lights up the screen as she relentlessly pursues (and hisses at) our heroes. You may know him as Stooge from Night of the Demons but here Hal Havins plays Jimmie, a real charmer and the heavyset comic relief. And yeah, there's Keith (John Stuart Wildman) but I don't want to talk about Keith! He is not leadership material.

There's a three-way scream queen competition going on here between the infamous trio that starred in DeCoteau's Nightmare Sisters. While I do worship at the respective altars of Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens, it is the ultimate cheapie horror and schlock siren, Linnea Quigley, who makes this film invaluable to me. Spider's candy corn dialogue coming from Quigley is pure vocal junk food; sweet but oh so bad for you. Only Spider can make a bowling alley men's room come alive with sweet electricity and bristle with sexual tension. Whatever you do, Calvin, don't let this one get away.

While I'm still in my right mind, let me warn the average viewer about Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (of Death): you'll probably hate this. Fans of Linnea Quigley and 80s crap horror will find themselves magically transported into a formerly perfect, now unsettled world which can only be fully restored by vanquishing the Imp's power. For you, brave souls, your life will only get better. The rest will have to merely bask in the boobs, beer, spankings, and whipped cream. From the hot pink credit sequence to the dirt bike into the sunset resolution; no one loses.