The Land Of College Prophets
Directed by The Hale Manor Collective
Released: 2005
Starring: Thomas Edward Seymour, Philip Guerette, Tina Angelillo, and Russ Russo
Running Time: 83 minutes
DVD Released by York Entertainment

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Tommy (Thomas Edward Seymour) and Rye (Philip Guerette) spend their days drinking, fighting, and making profane speeches on the college campus. They are members of the “College Prophets”, a group which (aside from its questionable recreational activities) actually protects the college and the surrounding town if trouble should arise. And boy does it ever arise. While fighting over the affections of Tommy’s girlfriend, Bells (Tina Angelillo), Tommy and Rye accidentally awaken an evil wishing well which then contaminates the water supply, causing the townspeople to go insane. While murder and mayhem run rampant through the streets, the two friends set aside their differences to restore order.

A wildly creative and ambitious film, The Land Of College Prophets feels like it’s from an alternate universe instead of just taking place in one. Nothing could have prepared me for the left hook that The Hale Manor Collective (Mike Aransky, Philip Guerette, and Thomas Edward Seymour) just threw at me. With fantastic cinematography, tight editing, and well-choreographed fight scenes, this one is sure to please any viewer looking for a kickass alternative to dry and pretentious indie films. But don’t get me wrong, this is an incredibly smart film, throwing as many ideas around as it does punches. The dialogue is crisp, easily quotable (“We will now throw blood on you.”), and rarely falters below exceptional. The score is a driving one, giving the film’s action an immense feel.

Obviously a labor of love, all of the actors give their best to completely immerse themselves in their bizarre world. Thomas Edward Seymour and Philip Guerette make excellent leading men by being able to portray dynamic characters. Watching Tommy and Rye’s friendship fall apart is quite believable and painful as well. Russ Russo is hilarious but manages to keep Jonah Joe from getting away from him.

While the melodrama involving Bells is a bit forced, the script a tad too contemplative in places, and a few of the fight scenes are just silly (in particular, Midas strapping on riot gear to take on Third Reich Jones), it’s hard to complain without just plain old nitpicking. I suppose I could accuse the film of being naïve although I’m sure it’s intentional. Is it too overtly macho? I don’t know how to criticize this film other than to say that I really hope they didn’t actually blow up that mouse.

Viewers of independent films should rejoice for The Land Of College Prophets is a prime example of what a great script and a competent crew can attain. You won’t regret checking this one out as it easily one of the best indie films to come out in a while. I haven’t been this surprised by a film in a while and believe me, very little I can say will prepare you for the experience. Although pink ninjas, a giant magical tofu machine, and a wishing well that eats children are good places to start. 

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Links:

For more info, check out Hale Manor.

Or for the DVD check out York Entertainment.