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Intercessor: Another Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare
Directed By Benn McGuire and Jacob Windatt
Released: 2005
Starring: John Mikl Thor, Brad Pope, Sharon MacDonald, and Dave Collette
Running Time: 90 minutes
DVD Released By Sub Rosa
Harry (Brad Pope) is labeled as "The Gimp" by the local metalheads and
suffers the cruelty of his aunt who torments him about his brother who
recently committed suicide. To make matters worse, Julie (Sharon
MacDonald), the girl that Harry pines over, is under attack by some
zombies and he must rise above his disadvantages to save her. Meanwhile,
evil forces are planning to destroy humankind and it is up to The
Intercessor (Jon Mikl Thor) to stop them. A little girl named Laura,
(Melissa Ellingham) who is tormented by horrifying nightmares, holds the
key to saving the world.
Oh, doctor! I don’t know where to begin. If this is a serious attempt to
make a movie then I can feel my mind quickly folding over on itself and
imploding. If
Intercessor: Another Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare is a
joke then I’m thankful for being in on the gag. All I know for sure is
that during the running time of this grotesque thing, I was clutching the
armrests of my recliner and praying that this isn’t a real attempt to
entertain.
The first third of the film plays out like a Nelson video with some
pitiful gore sequences thrown in. Then a truckload of characters are
dumped into the mix and everything goes batty. Most scenes are tedious and
are usually ground to a halt by some unusually odious dialogue (“I
respectfully state, sire, YOU have underestimated the STRENGTH of OUR
enemies”). All of the actors turn in pitifully hambone performances. In
fact, I think Dave Collette (who plays Zompira) might actually be
achieving some kind of a sublime cheesiness by delivering lines like he’s
undergoing acupuncture that has gone terribly, terribly wrong.
The animated sequences (pathetic crap drawings with narration) and the film’s
special effects are garbage. There are scenes toward the end where there
are no sound effects tagged onto the visual ones revealing that even less
care went into this film than I previously suspected. Some characters
voices are distorted in an attempt to make them sound more menacing but
actually just encourage me to slam my fingers in a drawer.
I don’t think I’ve ever been quite this stupefied or frustrated by a film
before. The digital effects are cheesy and the fight scenes are
embarrassing. This is another bout of big imagination versus micro-sized
budget and the winner is the budget by a landslide. Everyone in the cast
seems intent on ruining the film with their god-awful delivery. The film
crawls along during its 90 minute running time but feels never-ending. Go
ahead and watch
Intercessor: Another Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare, I
know I’ll never be happy again.
DVD Specs:
This Sub Rosa DVD looks good in its widescreen format and sounds just
fine. There are tons of extras on this disc. There is a slideshow,
outtakes, deleted scenes, and music videos from Thor and others.
Actually, the music video from Them’s Fightin’ Words is better than
Intercessor so be sure to check it out.
For more information check out
Sub
Rosa.
Or go to the
official movie site.
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