|
 |
Skeleton Man
Directed By Johnny Martin
Released: 2004
Starring: Michael Rooker, Casper Van Dien, Sarah Ann Schultz, and Nils
Allen Stewart
Running Time: 90 minutes
DVD Released By MTI Home Video
A hooded skeletal creature is killing people in the woods near a research
base. A team of soldiers, lead by Captain Leary (Michael Rooker), is sent
in to find and destroy this creature. Unfortunately, this creature is the
possessed spirit of a mad Native American warrior and is virtually
unstoppable. It is up to the surviving members of Leary's team to find a
way to destroy the creature.
This disaster of a movie was directed by longtime stuntman and first time
director, Johnny Martin. The dialogue is laughable, the plot is inane, and
the performances from the actors lack any personality or gumption. The
film contains some brief gory moments but nothing outstanding. There is a
nasty exploding head, impalements, and even a grotesque (yet half-assed)
pit of bodies. Even the
gratuitous machinegun fire and explosions can’t make
Skeleton Man
even remotely exciting.
There are an uncountable number of opportunities for viewers to go “huh?”
and “what?” during the film. At around 45 minutes, the film's already
shaky narrative completely breaks down when Casper Van Dien's (Starship
Troopers,
Sleepy Hollow) stunt double goes for a little joyride
in a tractor trailer which results in a nice explosion. I can't imagine
Van Dien being too busy to be filmed driving a truck. But sure enough,
shots of a faceless stunt actor and shots of Van Dien making faces from
different parts of the film are intercut into this unholy abomination of a
scene.
Now onto the creature that terrorizes the protagonists (and viewers) of
Skeleton Man. First of all, there’s nothing scary about a monster in a
shiny black polyester bonnet and cape ensemble. Also, despite the
silliness of the creature’s mask, there are shots in the film where the
actor’s nose can be seen where the skeleton’s nasal cavity should be. And
finally, the whole Predator thing really hurts the film. For instance, the
skeletal creature can cloak (or perhaps it’s teleporting?) and the POV
shots through the creature’s eyes are very familiar (complete with what
appears to be thermal vision).
Skeleton Man will horrify but not in the way that it was intended
to. This movie may turn up on someone’s guilty pleasure list due to the
fact that it is so mistake laden and logic free. And of course, it
features an unmitigated Michael Rooker (Henry: Portrait Of A Serial
Killer, Shadow Builder) running rampant throughout the film as
the rugged (and more than just a little nutty) Captain Leary. So, if you
think you’re man enough to take on a bewildering plot and embarrassingly
trite dialogue (as well as ludicrous action sequences and vapid special
effects), then try Skeleton Man on for size.
For more information, check out
MTI Home
Video.
|
|
