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Necromancer Directed by Dusty Nelson Released: 1988 Starring: Elizabeth Kaitan, John Tyler, Rhonda Dorton, Stan Hurwitz Review by Flying Zebras The plot follows your basic rape-victim-gets-revenge story. The main character, Julie (Elizabeth Kaitan), is raped by one man while his friend holds her down and a third man watches. Later, her friend, Freda (Dorton), convinces her to contact a necromancer to get some much needed payback. The necromancer summons a demon that begins carrying out revenge for Julie but soon gets out of control. It's a good basis for a horror flick, but somehow the director managed to waste film that could have been used for something interesting, like Uncle Gerald's colonoscopy. The most outstanding idiocy comes in one of the key scenes of the film. It begins when the three bad guys, led by Paul (Stan Hurwitz), sneak in to their professor's office to steal the answers to the drama exam. That right there should indicate the stupidity of these characters, but it gets better. While attempting to rape the main character, the lead bad guy threatens her with a knife. He insists that he will cut her right before he folds the knife and places it in his pocket. He then begins to thrust his hips against hers. I could have forgiven the knife thing were it not for the fact that the rapist can't even bother to unzip his pants in order to rape his victim. While this seems the most glaring problem, it is not the only one. It seems everyone is allowed a costume change except the necromancer and her geeky acolyte, Ernest. She is doomed to spend the entire film wearing something cast off by the costuming department of Footloose. This goes wonderfully well with her Dungeons and Dragons acting method. I think Ernest got the ultimate shaft. It seems he had to supply his own wardrobe, and so spends the entire film wearing blue jeans and a red T-shirt with a black pentagram on it. (They must have really hated the guy since he wasn't even listed in the credits.) The special effects sucked harder than a toothless whore trying to earn a fiver. Not only do they look bad, they don't even match the images on the film. And let's not forget the token black person. Perhaps it's just me, but I think it is very demeaning to include an individual of a minority only to relegate them to such an irrelevant part. However, there were a few favorable points to the movie. I was particularly impressed with the drama professor's ability to convey 1970s sleaze. Also, there was a wonderful, if not quite anatomically correct, spurting artery. (I think they blew their entire special effects budget on it.) My favorite part of the movie, indeed, the only part I actually enjoyed, has to be the scene where Romeo recites his lines. Imagine Gomer Pyle saying, "Hark, what light through yonder window breaks."
All in all, this movie is a disaster. Not because it is bad, not even because the special effects are horrible, but because it's so stupid. This should be a simple revenge horror movie. Instead, it's 88 minutes of stupidity. It's not scary, it's not gory, and there's not enough nudity for it to qualify as softcore pornography either. Don't waste your money or your time watching Necromancer. The only true highlight of the film is the band, Strapper. They'll turn you around! |