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Terror Firmer
Directed By Lloyd Kaufman
Released: 1999
Starring: Will Keenan, Alyce LaTourelle, Lloyd Kaufman, Trent Haaga, and Debbie Rochon
After watching too many horror movies that take themselves too seriously, I finally got to sit down with
Terror Firmer, a film that doesn’t take itself seriously for a single frame. I’m not much of a Troma Studios fan but I did enjoy this movie. Don’t get me wrong, I love
The Toxic Avenger as much as the next guy but I’m not going anywhere near any of its sequels, no sir. The DVD of
Terror Firmer is like taking a swan-dive into a New Jersey manhole but probably a lot more entertaining.
Larry Benjamin (played by Lloyd Kaufman) is a blind filmmaker working on his masterpiece. The production goes from bad to worse as a homicidal maniac begins to sadistically slaughter members of Larry’s crew. Meanwhile, the shy but lovely production assistant, Jennifer (Alyce LaTourelle) is trying to make her way in a cruel movie industry and find the love of her life at the same time. She falls for the eerily enigmatic and oddly innocent boom operator/pickle freak, Casey (played by the hilarious Will Keenan), and is blind to the obvious romantic intentions of the special effects guy, Jerry (played by the equally hilarious Trent Haaga). As the body count rises and the pressure to complete the movie builds, the roller coaster that is
Terror Firmer comes closer and closer to derailing and decapitating all aboard.
The folks at Troma Studio seem to have established a code of humor in their movies. Do everything until it isn’t funny anymore. Then do it for ten more minutes. I love
Terror Firmer. There is nothing quite like a movie that tries really hard to be as offensive as possible and does it over and over again. Most of the actors are intentionally bad but a few stand out as really incredible talents. I don’t know what planet Alyce LaTourelle came from but I sure as hell hope she stays on Earth so that I can see her in more horror flicks. Will Keenan is naturally funny and charming in a creepy kind of a way. Trent Haaga makes a great misunderstood goof but holds his own and even stands out amidst all the chaos. However, it is Lloyd Kaufman that really steals the show here as far as the humor goes. His character is so nuts that you have to buy it. It is obvious that he is trying to add some poignancy to his real-life career of sleaze peddling through his Larry Benjamin character. And why not? It works, I swear to God, it works.
The rest of this movie is complete chaos. It’s a controlled chaos (only possible in a Troma flick), of course, but it is chaos nonetheless. There’s nudity (both male and female and some in-between), megatons of gore, a punk rock soundtrack, and enough penis stretching to keep you shaking your head (or covering your eyes) for years to come. This movie is so screwed that it will probably make you want to call your parents afterwards and apologize for watching it without their consent.
I highly recommend this movie to all fans of horror movies, sleazy movies, b-movies, and un-politically correct comedies. You have to see it to believe and I guarantee there is something for everyone in this flick.
Beware the R-rated version, treat yourself to the unrated DVD, believe me it’s worth it.
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